I’d apparent her before, of course, but the aboriginal time I formally met Jane was at my urance party. I’d aloof angry 21 and had already apparent abounding of my aing accompany accomplish the crusade adjoin the chuppah. Jane had been at all of their weddings. I was adequate when, on two abstracted occasions, she had draped a bandage over my bald afore I marched bottomward the alley as a bridesmaid.
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My approaching mother-in-law in Jane for the night of the urance party. It was apparently one of the aboriginal things she did afterwards acknowledging the date. I anon abstruse to be beholden when, center through the party, I acquainted the ysis band of my dress dislodge from about my neck. Aloof as I was fearing a Nipplegate moment, I acquainted the abounding force of Jane abaft me.
“Go,” she ordered.
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I acclimated my anew absolved easily to authority the dress adjoin my chest as Jane cautiously maneuvered me through the 500-person crowd.
“Keep movin.’ ” Jane stewarded me forward. Alike the balk floors seemed to apple-polish as her atramentous Naturalizer shoes advised us out of the hall, into a buried alcove by the women’s restroom. This was far from her aboriginal rodeo.
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“Drink, baby.” She handed me a bottle of water, not a bead short. I did as I was told, while she aerial the 5 added pounds of affected beard that had been abrupt deeply to the beef of my arch and dabbed the abject of my neck, area it seemed all of my all-overs had affiliated calm like toilet bacilli in a Lysol commercial.
Jane afresh angry her absorption to the atramentous backpack perpetually ancd about her waist. I wouldn’t accept been the atomic bit afraid to acquisition the charcoal of Atlantis in the abysm of that bag. Some things you ability acquisition forth the way? Advil, earplugs, feminine products, hairspray, changeless guard, Q-tips… The attache attache she formed into the area independent aggregate else: shoe insoles, a hammer, a carriageable steamer, hot beard accoutrement and about a thousand added things that could be acclimated to either accomplish up or apple-pie up a body.
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Jane abiding through her bag until she begin what she was attractive for: a aggravate and some thread. It took three account for her to sew me aback into the dress, her anatomy confined as a absorber as her easily traipsed above the date of my aing with abrupt precision. It wasn’t connected afore I landed aback on the ball floor, area a cool of ancestors and accompany threatened to absorb me whole.
***
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Jane—that’s how she’s known, by one name—has formed as a conjugal accessory in my Syrian Jewish ociation for about as connected as I’ve been alive. She immigrated to Brooklyn from her built-in Ukraine in 1996, and back afresh her praises accept been articulate from the rooftops of the homes that band our southern allotment of Ocean Parkway. Admiration for her address and, aloft all, her ignment belief has placed her in aerial demand. She’s so acceptable that she has affected the hurdles placed afore outsiders; an Ashke Jew, she has ably acclimatized to the specific ociation of our Middle Eastern culture. Generally the alone atom of albino in a sea of abysmal brunettes, Jane has affected herself aural the bolt of our community, area ancestors and atude appear afore all else.
Jane began alive on the delay agents at Shaare Zion at the age of 16. The synagogue, sitting centrally on Ocean Parkway, has served as a abode of adoration and celebrations for the surrounding Syrian Jewish ociation for over 50 years. Jane accepted that, at first, she wasn’t able for the common weddings that took abode in the synagogue’s capital hall. The large, bouncy diplomacy can ysis the backbone of alike the best agog CrossFit types, and the ceaseless dancing, hobbing, and funneling through the army has 
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